******Icykit~She-kit~1Moon******

[icykit]

Name: Icykit

Nickname: Icyness

Rank: Kit

Age: 4 Moons

Gender: She-kit

Clan: Would like to be in ShadowClan

Personality: Funny, good tempered, VERY VERY VERY VERY stubborn!!! When she first approaches other cats, she is wary because of the way that she grew up, but Icykit sniffs them politely and sits a little ways away. She is good at hunting and fighting, her weaknesses would be stratagizing things out. Icykit's goal in life is to finally try frog before she dies XD It's true! She likes to roll around in the flowers, but dislikes ticks.

Appearance: VERY tiny icy white she-kit with a blueish-gray tail and right paw like the color of frozen ice over a clear blue lake. Has Icy blue eyes that pierce right through you, but warm when she senses friendliness. Silentkill is her father. Mother was a rogue warrior named Snarl who is Blood's sister (Silentkill is like Hawkfrost, Snarl is like Violet, and Blood is like Scourge) . When you first see Icykit, you see an emotionless face, and at first, a flash of hatred for catkind. But then in a split-second, it's gone. You think, This cat will be a good warrior, but will she? THen she smiles at you, and you forget everything.

Other: I love the world

History: Has pure black claws. Mother died giving birth to her. Has no siblings. Wants a mother, father, and siblings. Mother and father looked at her in disgust after she was born, because neither of them were white anywhere. THey named her Icykit because her father suggested Ice or Flint, but the mother decided to give her to the Clan, and she knew that they had to have 'kit' at the end of their names. Remembers the first look her mother and father gave her, barely: comtempt and disgust. She loved them dearly, 'til her 3rd moon when they abandoned her. THey fed her barely any milk, and mostly whole water vole. She blended into the ice when it was leaf-bare, so she hunts best during this season. Water Vole is her favorite prey.

Rp Example: Icykit narrowed her chipped-blue-flint eyes. This was going to come down in a fight. Was she going to win? Yes. The young rogue padded forwardly nonchalantly. "You, Kitten" it sneered "Are going to be mousiefodder by the time I'M done with you!" Icykit leaped and slashed at it's throat. It fell to the ground, instantly dead. She stared at it, no emotion portrayed on her face. Looks like my Blood heritage is coming through... she thought. The three moon old kit shook blood droplets off her fur. She padded over to the dead cat. She stared at it and considered the option, but she had to do it. Food was very scarce during Leaf-Bare... She started licking the blood. It was the only food she had. She stepped back, and padded back to her solitary den.

Thank you,

Icyness

---

Hi! Im new here, here's my bio!

Name: Icykit

Nickname: Icyness

Rank: Kit

Age: 1 moon

Gender: She-kit

Clan: Would like to be in ShadowClan

Personality: Funny, good tempered, VERY VERY VERY VERY stubborn!!!

Appearance: VERY tiny icy white she-kit with a blueish-gray tail and right paw like the color behind the boxes to the left and all of the boards. Has Icy blue eyes because Hawkfrost is her father. Mother was a rogue warrior named Violet who is Scourge's sister.

Other: Has pure black claws. Mother died giving birth to her. Has no siblings. Wants a mother, father, and siblings.

Rp Example: Icykit narrowed her chipped-blue-flint eyes. This was going to come down in a fight. Was she going to win? Yes. The rogue padded forwardly nonchalantly. "You, Kitten" it sneered "Are going to be mousiefodder by the time I'M done with you!" Icykit leaped and slashed at it's throat. It fell to the ground, instantly dead. She smirked. Looks like my Scourge heritage is coming through! she thought wearily. The one moon old kit shook blood droplets off her fur. She padded over to the dead cat. She shuddered, but she had to do it. She started licking the blood. It was the only food she had.

[Winter]

Welcome to the site! <3<3<3

I like your bio, but you have several mistakes to fix. First, did you read the bio form of the site? Or at least the site rules? Because the bio doesn't look like it. You didn't put the codeword and you wrote less than 300 words in the entire bio! You barely described anything really. The personality is very shallow and you should try to make it more descriptive. I may seem nagging, but seriously, you used three adjectives to describe your character. That's barely anything!

And you didn't make her a history. You talked about her parents on the appearance but it is on the wrong place. And your bio is completely disorganized: you have details of the appearance in 'others' and the history spread in 'appearance' and in 'others'.

The age is also mistaken. 1 moon is way too young. At least make her 3 or 4 moons.

I'm sorry if I seem to severe, but the level of this bio is very far from that of this site. This bio has 202 words and you apparently did not read the rules. If you truly want to be part of this site, READ THE RULES and re-do this biography to something that's descriptive.

[icykit]

Okay Sorry...

[Moony™]

That's okay, all you need to do is fix/add more things to your bio and then you can RP! x3 I'll just copy/paste your bio right below and tell you what you need to fix. Mine will be in green cause I like green xD

"When finished, we'll take a look. If accepted-- congratulations! You may now start roleplaying. If rejected, we'll point out our requirements and you can fix it."
--the front of the application page

Application | Rules
Also, don't forget to insert the codeword at the end~ just read the rules carefully and the codeword should standout.

___________________________

Name: Icykit
Great! c: Normally, we don't accept kits, but hey~
Kind of because it's confusing to just have a kit without a queen. Feel free to go to the "Character <3" board and try to find a Shadowclan queen... which could be difficult.
I'll accept kits right now, but you can change it later if you want. Like say, an apprentice.

Nickname: Icyness
That's cool.

Rank: Kit
Uh huh.

Age: 1 moon
Okay. 1 moon is way too young. Let's make her like 3-4 moons as Winter suggested. Besides, 1 moon kit can't walk very straight (they limp around), and they'll have to stay in the nursery for a long time. Which is boring, isn't it?

Gender: She-kit
Oh yeah.

Clan: Would like to be in ShadowClan
Awesome. It's a popular clan.

Personality: Funny, good tempered, VERY VERY VERY VERY stubborn!!!
Goooood... you got some traits down. And now describe them for me.

+ Is there anything more to her? How does she greet new people? What is her dreams/goals? What mood is she usually in? Etc.
+ Her strengths and weaknesses? What is she good at? What is she bad at?
+ Does she like anything? Dislikes anything?

Appearance: VERY tiny icy white she-kit with a blueish-gray tail and right paw like the color behind the boxes to the left and all of the boards. Has Icy blue eyes because Hawkfrost is her father. Mother was a rogue warrior named Violet who is Scourge's sister.
Sweetness, this is more descriptive. But you can still describe some more--because from that, she can look like anyone.

+ When you first see Icykit, what do you first assume just by looking at her? Ex: "a cute kit", "just a ball of fur", "an evil kit", "happy kit", "will be strong warrior someday"
+ "like the color behind the boxes to the left and all the boards" Alright. xD Instead of just stating the color, how about just describing it? "Frozen blue" "Blue like the cloud touched sky" "the frozen lake" -- okay, that was terrible. xDDD But you get the idea, right?
+ For the fur and the eyes--you can add more. Her blue eyes, for example--is it soft and gentle? Or piercing and clear? Or deep and vast?
+ Hey look! You have some history down. x3 That's ok but you should have a separate paragraph for your history. But I think we should erase "Hawkfrost" and "Violet"... we're non-canon, so we don't accept the characters already from the books. Although you can have a different mom and dad who are just like Hawkfrost and Violet.

Other: Has pure black claws. Mother died giving birth to her. Has no siblings. Wants a mother, father, and siblings.
Other can be put in to other categories.
"Has pure black claws" Personality
"Mother died ... has no siblings... wants a mother, father, and siblings" History

HISTORY
From what you wrote up there, you have a history. Just place them here and be more descriptive. Because you sure have some good history.
Here are some things to talk about =)

-Birth (background info on Mom and Dad; location/time of birth; why the name Icykit)
-Childhood (since you are just a kit, be creative. ★ You should be around 3-5 moons. So what did you do? Anything interesting that contributed to Icykit today? Was she happy or sad? Does she have any memories of her Mom and Dad?)
-Goals/Dreams (Simple~ so we know that she wants a family, anything more?)


Rp Example: Icykit narrowed her chipped-blue-flint eyes. This was going to come down in a fight. Was she going to win? Yes. The rogue padded forwardly nonchalantly. "You, Kitten" it sneered "Are going to be mousiefodder by the time I'M done with you!" Icykit leaped and slashed at it's throat. It fell to the ground, instantly dead. She smirked. Looks like my Scourge heritage is coming through! she thought wearily. The one moon old kit shook blood droplets off her fur. She padded over to the dead cat. She shuddered, but she had to do it. She started licking the blood. It was the only food she had.
Okay... I think we might be a bit powerplaying here.
A 1 month kit CANNOT like move beastly and leap and slash--well, killing a rogue who is most likely full-grown. It's just not right, even how cool it sounds. And I'm not sure what is going through a mind of a 1-moon kit... first she is determined to kill, then she is proud of her kill (she smirked), then she shuddered. It's just... confusing and it isn't very clear.

But I really like how she killed for survival. It's very creative and original. Maybe not toward cannibalism... but maybe she killed for protection (in a make-sense way) or killed her first prey as a kit. x3

Holy cow that looks so long.

[icykit]

Name: Icykit

Nickname: Icyness

Rank: Kit

Age: 4 Moons

Gender: She-kit

Clan: Would like to be in ShadowClan

Personality: Funny, good tempered, VERY VERY VERY VERY stubborn!!! When she first approaches other cats, she is wary because of the way that she grew up, but Icykit sniffs them politely and sits a little ways away. She is good at hunting and fighting, her weaknesses would be stratagizing things out. Icykit's goal in life is to finally try frog before she dies XD It's true! She likes to roll around in the flowers, but dislikes ticks.

Appearance: VERY tiny icy white she-kit with a blueish-gray tail and right paw like the color of frozen ice over a clear blue lake. Has Icy blue eyes that pierce right through you, but warm when she senses friendliness. Silentkill is her father. Mother was a rogue warrior named Snarl who is Blood's sister (Silentkill is like Hawkfrost, Snarl is like Violet, and Blood is like Scourge) . When you first see Icykit, you see an emotionless face, and at first, a flash of hatred for catkind. But then in a split-second, it's gone. You think, This cat will be a good warrior, but will she? THen she smiles at you, and you forget everything.

Other: I love the world

History: Has pure black claws. Mother died giving birth to her. Has no siblings. Wants a mother, father, and siblings. Mother and father looked at her in disgust after she was born, because neither of them were white anywhere. THey named her Icykit because her father suggested Ice or Flint, but the mother decided to give her to the Clan, and she knew that they had to have 'kit' at the end of their names. Remembers the first look her mother and father gave her, barely: comtempt and disgust. She loved them dearly, 'til her 3rd moon when they abandoned her. THey fed her barely any milk, and mostly whole water vole. She blended into the ice when it was leaf-bare, so she hunts best during this season. Water Vole is her favorite prey.

Rp Example: Icykit narrowed her chipped-blue-flint eyes. This was going to come down in a fight. Was she going to win? Yes. The young rogue padded forwardly nonchalantly. "You, Kitten" it sneered "Are going to be mousiefodder by the time I'M done with you!" Icykit leaped and slashed at it's throat. It fell to the ground, instantly dead. She stared at it, no emotion portrayed on her face. Looks like my Blood heritage is coming through... she thought. The three moon old kit shook blood droplets off her fur. She padded over to the dead cat. She stared at it and considered the option, but she had to do it. Food was very scarce during Leaf-Bare... She started licking the blood. It was the only food she had. She stepped back, and padded back to her solitary den.

Thank you,

Icyness

[Moony™]

Omg that's awesome, Icy! You practically nailed down everything I pointed out, and it looks amazing. <3

But don't forget to have sentences instead of fragments in RP, like
"Has pure black claws." A fragment; to:
"She has pure black claws." Or
"Her claws are pure black."
So we have a subject who 'has pure black claws'. ^____^
Fragments are fine--they give off some cool effects as desired, but when isn't necessary, it'll be good to have complete sentences.

And on the RP Example, do you think we can make it so that it isn't cannibalism? I know she had to do it for survival--which I just love the idea--but eating another cat is just yucky and probably may cause some pains (like diseases). Hm... how about she had to kill a poor baby birds or something more stronger like a baby badger? That she didn't want to kill for some reason, but she had to--for survival. And something you can imagine a kit can kill.