{open}Whats beyond the blue water?

[Moonzzz]

moonshade sat. Staring at the deep blue water. a tiny splash as a tear fell into the water. none to speak to. No one to cry on. No one to listen.

Wouldnt you think that pain occured the most when phisically hurt?
wouldnt you? Doesnt make it true.
moonshade's heart felt like a glass, on the edge of a table. Ready to fall. And shatter.

Lone liness stabbed moonshade. nothing would ever match the pain. Weird, isnt it? How once you lose somebody, it scars you? just like a physical scar. Even more painful.

picture a rose falling. Its beuty going away. how does it make you feel? like your losing something special? Moonshade could relate to the feeling. Watching her leader, die. Her leader was a freind to her. like a rose is mark of love, freindship, to you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

moonshade stared in the water. she stuck her paw in the water. a moment of water and a little strength. the silver fish layed at moonshade's feat.

suddenly she heard a cat coming................

[Rosii </3]

Rosestar slipped stelthily through the forest, avoiding the thorns that beackoned to her dangerously and the tree roots waiting to trip her up. The forest really was a dangerous place if you did not have your wits about you, no place for senseless twolegs, that was a good thing. It meant that they could live in the forest in peace, well in as much peace as would come to them. It was very peaceful in Riverclan right now, besides from the clouds of dismay hanging above camp and in the territory. They were impossible to get away from.

Ashstar, the last Riverclan leader had recently died, leaving her in charge of Riverclan. She wanted some guidence, some idea of what to do, but that was impossible, she needed Ashstar to guide her, but that was not an option. Now she had to guide Riverclan, she had to have faith for them, she had to put a brave face on. She had always dreamed about being a leader, and now she was, but she was scared, like a fish out of water, a grain of salt separate from the rest. She had to be strong for Riverclan, if she couldn't do anything else.

Parting the ferns in front of her she pushed her way through them, they tickled her pelt as she passed. Padding forward she sat down to join the cat at the river, Moonshade, a loyal warrior, one whom had been very close to Ashstar. Her gaze flashed over the waters surface and before the fish by Moonshade's paw could swim away, her paw hooked it up in seconds and crushed the life out of it. Her whiskers twitched as she scented it, such mouth watering taste, she would have something waiting for her in her den back at camp though.

[Moonzzz]

Moonshade nodded as she had the familiar scent flood her nose. she grinned, forcing the dakr thoughts from her mind, "Hello, Rosestar." moonshade looked at the shining fish below her, "i dont have much of an appetite. if your hungry we can share this." Moonshade had planned to bring it back to camp. but it was late in the day, all the cats wouldve eaten by now. Moonshade sighed, "Roseheart, may i ask you a question? I was wondering..." Moonshade hesitated. She didnt want to bring Ashstar up, but she did anyways, "Why am i more sad about ashstar dying than any other cat? they were all loyal, all great cats, but this time its like the claws of scourge are peircing through me. I know its silly, but i am just so angry." moonshade continued staring at the water,"Ashstar was such a great leader! She shouldnt of died!" moonshade tried to calm herself. This was her leader she was talking to for starclan sake.

moonshade looked at rosestar, "im sorry, im just still a little...shocked is all." Moonshade watched the sun set. She spotted the first star. There was something about it that told moonshade it was ashstar.

ooc: im a little tired, sorry about the short post.

[ogrins]

ooc: mind if i jump in? if you want it to be personal, then ignnore the post. no problem.



Reedtail stood in the dark. the thick trees by the riverside sheltered him, and his dark pelt hid him well. as he watched the stars begin to show themselves, he remembered his past. thin strand by thin strand would eventually add up and create a line of his history. and so, to start somewhere easy. the beginning.

light shone fist in the kits small eyes. and he saw his mothers face. her fur was warm and comforting as he snuggled in closer for a nap. and for some unknown reason, he felt that it was the color of snow, the color of clouds, the color of absence. she was the color white, with no other markings. and she loved him dearly. she shared her love for him with another his age, another kit... a sister. he remembered her little paws dug into the nape of his neck then, and it had hurt. but she was only playing and he didn't get injured. and so the twins rested. but then, the small memory faded, and new memories of a brown queen filled his mind. she had become his mother. she had loved him like her own. and she would always be there for him, in his dreams.

yet somewhere deep inside his heart, Reedtail knew that Fawnstep had not gave birth to him. it was all quite confusing really, to be raised thinking that a queen who was not his mother was his mother... and that his father had... oh, now what did he say then?

it was a bright day. Reedpaw and his mentor, Marshpad were stroling along the borders, along with Deerpaw, his best friend, and Leafbird, Deerpaw's mentor. it was especially sunny that day, and the four of them were thankfully pausing under some neary trees for shade. Reedpaw and Deerbird were full of energy that day, and so they wandered as close to the order as they could get. (the border was with shadowclan) accidentally, they both crossed it without knowing they had done so, and a battle had begun. there were three shadowclan cats then, and one of them, Larkdirt, injured Marshpad very badly. Reedpaw immediately voluntered to help him back to camp, while Deerpaw and Leafbird ran off to alert the clan. During the long, slow and painful last walk back to camp, Marshpad told Reedpaw little hints about his history, and gave him proff to show that he was there whem Reedpaw's true mother had died. (he did not however, tell the truth as to why he had been there) when they had reached camp, the medicine cat imediately got to work on trying to save Marshpaw's life, but was too late. Marshpad had lost too much blood, and was declared dead at sundown.


Reedtail blinked away the sorrow that had suddenly crawled into his heart. he feared the truth about his past, but it also intruiged him just as much. curiousity is a strange thing. Reedtail stared at the water, which was both too far away for him to reach out and touch, yet to close for him to run into. for sometimes, in the midst of the night, Reedtail swam through the water or ran through the territory to rid himself of his anger that only seemed to come during the night. as if the black oblivion above and the dark water below pushed it upon him, and then left him in peace for the day, before returning at night to make him fear again. it was one of those things.

and as Reedtail sat, voices slowly drifted along the wind toward him. they were female voices, no doubt, and they weer coming to his right. and so he slowly padded out of the shelter of the trees towards them. they had a silky effect in the night air, as if the sound of them, not the words that they spoke, but the sounds that they were made of, called him through the dark to them. suddenly he emerged on the corner of a small clearing where two cats; Moonshade and Rosestar they were, after he had paused to smell the air; were dwelling. one was sitting on the bank of the river, a fish at her feet. the other was standing next to her, watching the first cat calmly. words from the sitting cat echoed through his mind, yet he forced them out as he caught the new ones she spoke.

..."Why am i more sad about ashstar dying than any other cat? they were all loyal, all great cats, but this time its like the claws of scourge are peircing through me. I know its silly, but i am just so angry. Ashstar was such a great leader! She shouldnt of died!"

there was a pause in which Reedtail made his way further into the clearing. the moon and starlight picked him out now, his dark pelt giving him away from the lgiht shade of the sand that bordered the winding little river.

"im sorry, im just still a little...shocked is all."

Moonshade finished, staring at the sky. Rosestar hadn't responded yet, but this was a personal thing, and Reedtail didn't want to intrude if it meant to harm an already alarmed Moonshade. he padded up closer and nodded to Rosestar, who had probably seen or heard him coming by now. and then he turned his attetion to Moonshade, who still watched the sky tenderly. he had not known Ashstar that well, but she had indeed been a fine leader. words pushed up through his throught as wise thoughts popped out of his mouth without hesitation and totally by instinct.

"The past does not change itself according to how we wish it to be. You would want it to be less painful, but sadly, it isnt. Histories are funny like that, for sometimes they are secretive and other times they are just pure pain. Time is the only real cure for the past."

Reedtail almost bit himself for speaking. it was not his place, not his time. by true rights, he shouldnt even be here, he shouldnt have butt in. and now his natural instinct had backfired. annoyed with himself, Reedtail glared at his paws, and then at the water. how sweet and flowing it is. the perfect speed, not too fast, but ever flowing. ever changing, ever shifting. it never comes out and tries to sooth the soul, for most come to it to find themselves... better off. but i find myself lost. time does not reveal my history to me, or else it is taking its time quite well. who is my father? why did he slay my mother? why did he let me live, stuck in this world alone?

and so the dark hued tom watched the water, his strong, muscular back glistening in the moonlight. the white 'x' on his neck glared out toward the sky, seemingly to grin smuggly, as though it alone held the secrets in order to complete Reedtails history puzzle, and it wasnt about to allow him to understand his past completely yet.



ooc: wow i wrote a lot. total word count = 1242... minus 138 chacters that i use to dress up the post. man, Reedtail is a fun rp charrie.

[Moonzzz]

Moonshade nodded at reedtail's presence. His words seemed blank to her. No matter how many, words cant stitch up a wound. Not one that bled pools of pain below her feet. she felt like she was drowning. Drowning in her own sorrow.

"you wouldnt understand"

Moonshade never got to know reedtail, nor had he gotten to know her. but if he had he would know that moonshade was stubborn. Thus meaning that trying to get her to be happy when she is suffering is just a waste of his dear time.

"Even if you did, you would never be able to change the fact that ashstar is dead. That is the only reason why i was driving to become deputy! Not just for my clan, not just for glory! but the chance to become leader so that one day i could see ashstar once again in my dreams."

The hot tear running down moonshade's cheek seemed only a broken promise to herself. she told herself she wouldnt cry again. she promised to be her best so not to let her former leader down. She looked at the two cats beside her. She stood up, pushong her fish toward them.

" I'm not hungry. You two may share it."

Moonshade then lowered her head, letting her head drop into the river. The peircing cold water struck her muzzle. Her rough tounge lapped at the smoothly running water. The water felt like ice running down her throat. cool and smooth.

[ogrins]

Reedtail withdrew from Moonshade's presence, turning and sitting down next to Rosestar. he looked at Moonshade, his great blue eyes staring. how calm and detatched he must have appeared, next to two she-cats who felt a pain perhaps even deeper than his own. though how it could, he did not understand. Moonshade retored with words that stung him and herself.

"you wouldnt understand"

he sat back, annoyed with her for being so stubborn and yet, understanding some of the reason behind her defensive retort. she had been very good friends with ashstar. and now ashstar was gone.

"Even if you did, you would never be able to change the fact that ashstar is dead. That is the only reason why i was driving to become deputy! Not just for my clan, not just for glory! but the chance to become leader so that one day i could see ashstar once again in my dreams."

this new hint gave Reedtail a little hope. perhaps he didnt understand completely why she-cats held in their anger. perhaps he didnt understand what giving up hope really meant. because he always had hope. and he always had hope because life went on. yes, bad things happen, and yes, you cant change the fact that they do. but you can go on.

when a leaf falls into a river, does the river pause to let the leaf go to shore? does the river think that it could be hurting something? when a cat drinks in the cool, refreshing water, does the river stop and ask if the cat would like more? if a kit were to fall into the river, would the river rest and let the kit recover? no. it moves on.

these thoughts desperately wanted to sting the air, to make themselves heard. but Reedtail held them back this time. he bit his tounge and stared at the fish Moonshade had caught and offered to Rosestar and himself. his crystal blue eyes stared at its gleaming, still-damp scales. the fish seemed to throw back the rays of moonlight and sparkle in the dark. the reflection of the moon on the water was just as bright, and together the two objects completed each other.

" I'm not hungry. You two may share it."

moonshade said, sadly and biterly. her words stung the air with sorrow and, deep down inside them somewhere, a little anger. Reedtail turned to glance at Rosestar. perhaps she would better understand Moonshade's mood then he. and so he waited.

ooc: its a sadfest

[Rosii </3]

I'm tired and I have used my muse.

Rosestar sat and let the other she-cats words wash over her, they mad her quiver inside. Why did it have to be so hard? Why could she not get away from the name Ashstar for even five minutes? She wanted to wail, but instead she pushed down on her tongue with her fangs, it hurt, but she didn't know what else would work. Slowly the lump in her throat began to appear again. no...no this can't be happening. Realeasing her tongue she let out a gasp and began to take deep breath's, the deep breath's only brought with them the scent of Reedwhisker. great, another cat to embarass herself in front of.

She listened as Reedwhisker voiced his wise words, she hadn't even had her chance to reply. She wanted to hiss but she didn't. She wanted to run but she didn't. "You don't have to be a leader to see Ashstar again, if she wants to speak with any of us she will, but she doesn't, she left us, it was her choice. She may have been a great leader and a friend, but personally, that last move she pulled, did not show great leadership." Her words were bitter and filled with venom. Ashstar's disappearance had formed a hole in her heart, but how dare Ashstar walk out on her clan like that. Ashstar had given her the last of her nine lives, it meant nothing to her now, thinking about how Ashstar walked out on her clan. "If you want a leader like her, then you wont find one here." The venom that laced her words was slowly fading, and so was her temper.

There was both pain and anger over Ashstar disappearing, it served her right to die is she had walked out on her clan like that. She didn't know how to be a great leader yet, but she would never walk out on her clan, never. When she died fighting for her clan, Tearwing would take over and be a great leader, and he would never walk out on his clan.

Her anger was rolled up tight a small ball in her stomach, but now the bands on it were slowly snapping, as was she. She had had enough of Ashstar, the great leader was gone. This was all she needed, cats still obsessing over Ashstar. A snarl escaped her kissers. She wanted to be left alone now, she wanted to kill something, she wanted to claw something, she wanted to run and never look back. As impossible as it was, her ice blue eyes were on fire.

[Moonzzz]

Moonshade stared at her angry leader. she wanted to yell at her leader. She wanted to claw some sence in her. but not only is rosestar stronger, but moonshade was one of the warrior code, not violence. "you just dont know!" She huissed at the cats, "all of my life cats i was close to always died! even my mate! i dont even kits to remeber him by! i know everyone is hurt by ashstar's death! but its not just her that that tear in the mud is about!"

Moonshade raised up. "And if your not eating that fidh i will gladly bring it back to camp for you."

Moonshade felt bad after her snap. The stars were all out now. The cresent moon hung in the sky. Moonshade sighed. she whispered almost silently 'I have let you down...' she spoke to her mate. She had promised him not to greive over him. not to shed a tear ever again.

ever

[ogrins]

anger rippled through the air, as horsh words were spoken among the she-cats. it went down like this:

"You don't have to be a leader to see Ashstar again, if she wants to speak with any of us she will, but she doesn't, she left us, it was her choice. She may have been a great leader and a friend, but personally, that last move she pulled, did not show great leadership."

rosestar hissed out her words as she stared down moonshade. the two she-cats suddenly turned, taking opposite sides (or so it seemed) reedtail opened his jaw to protest, but rosestar continued. and he would never try to interupt his leader.

"If you want a leader like her, then you wont find one here."

rosestar finished her point off hastily, with somewhat of a threat beneath the cold words. reedtail recoiled, his eyes wide open in the moonlight. anger is not the way. it never is. and then moonshade cut in a retort that chilled reedtails bones.

"you just dont know! all of my life cats i was close to always died! even my mate! i dont even kits to remeber him by! i know everyone is hurt by ashstar's death! but its not just her that that tear in the mud is about!"

closing his eyes, reedtail wailed inside. two cats on the verge of two different things. one sad b ecause every cat she knows is ripped away from her, and the other angry because she feels like she is abandoned in her hour of need. both are in angust, and yet dont see the others reason as to why.

"And if your not eating that fidh i will gladly bring it back to camp for you."

moonshade spat beck as an end to her retort. imediately, she somehow relaxed, as did rosestar when she had finished her spiel. reedtail sighed, his eyes remained closed and he listened. coming out of his temporary state of thinking, he spok,e choosing careful words to satisfy both she-cats.

"Please, dont argue tonight. the moon is bright, the stars shine greatly, and the night is young. let your sorrow and anger leave, if only for a moment.

reedtail paused, quickly realizing that moonshade would be her stubborn self and not relax. and so his vocals spoke again, softly and gently, directed at both she-cats.

try to relax. please.

ooc:ima tired too, long day.

[Rosii </3]

Rosestar turned away, trying to leave her angry in the spot she was standing. she slowly stepped into the shallow area of the river, the water only reaching halfway up her legs. It was comforting and cool, against what felt like her flaming hot skin, it wasn't literally hot, it was just hot with her anger, which she had stupidly let tak over. It was all true about Ashstar though, everything. It was stupid of her to leave the clan and not tell any cat about it, it had resulted in her death, and she had made no contact with the clan since, she had only seen her old leader as she gave her the last of her nine lives. Her very last life.

She bent her head and began to drink from the river, the chilling substance ran down her throat and slowly broke away the lump that rested there. She really did not need her warriors to be with her right now. She could taste the fish, mingled with the taste of the water, but the water did not taste of anything but chill. Hopping out of the river she lounged on the bank, with one paw dangling into the water. Her eyes narrowed at Reedwhisker's words, how dare he act more authoritive than herself, but she let it go, she was in no state to start yelling at every cat in her clan.

"No, we shall not argue tonight." She meowed softly.

Her ice cold eyes gazed absently at a scene no cat other than her would ever experience. She watched as Ashstar touched noses with her, and the heart tearing pain of the life shot through her. It was strange to watch it over again, she could see her body s=frozen to the spot, shaking slightly with the pain. It was horrible.

[Moonzzz]

Moonshade only shook her head. she padded toward the now dark forest, heading towards camp. she needed to sleep. she had a patrol tommorow, "Goodnight" she mewed.