{EVERYONE READ} && the tears come streaming

[b√αиk]

some of you might have noticed semi inactive recently well pretty much over the last two months so here is my story..

...my dad had and still has a drinking problem. he really isn't abusive or anything but he can turn mean, but let me get to the point. he will drink like one or two beers and get drunk. yes he get's drunk easily. so anyways he would only get really bad like maybe once every 2 or 3 months. About during october he got really bad and locked my mom in the basement then went in to a room with my brother to talk. yes they did talk. i didn't know what to do i was in a room far away. when my dad and brother went in to the room and closed the door i unlocked the basement. my mom called the cops and they came. i don't know the rest because this was the day before skip's birthday, i was to busy planning and coloring and the cops told me to take my howling beagle away. my mom and i left after the cops left. we drove around till like midnight calling everyone she knew, no one answered. i was scared because she was crying and not paying attention to the road. finally my mom's friend got her message. we slept there. i cried myself to sleep that night. soon we planned to move when my dad was on one of his business trips. we moved to a tiny duplex, where my mom's brother was the owner of. ever since then i've been utterly bored. the house is tiny and i sleep with my mom. i told only skip about this and recently told my friend theresa and katlyn.

now here is something i haven't told anyone.{sorry skip =[}

last monday my sister took me on a sunrise trip. me and my sister are close she recently moved in with me and my mom. when she picked me up from school she asked where i wanted to talk because she had to tell me something. i said right now in the car. she sighed and i suddenly thought of something. I asked her if she had some disease or something, and she said sort of. i grew frozen with shock, she told me she had a eating disorder, she sometimes doesn't or she pukes, she said she's had it since she was 13, shes 20 now. my mom had known for two years. my sister told me she was leaving for 3 months and probably more to go to a special place to get help. i nodded. i had accepted every problem my family has including my brothers. i had only cried once. right now is my second time. so i'm going to miss my sisters, and i just really don't feel good right now. it's like i'm in the eye of a storm. everythign is swirling around me but i don't understand any of it.

so right now im crying, im sorry to everyone who i have neglected too post with or haven't been nice to. im sorry i haven't met you. im just truly sorry. i cant believe im actually crying right now.......sorry guy.........................sorry





to skip;;

right now all im thinking is wheres my skip? wheres my shoulder to cry on? wheres my best friend?

[froststar]

Oh, Blanky, i'm so sorry.... I know how it feels to have a family crisis right in the middle of everything else that is all bad.
Don't feel sad... i'm sure it will all untangle itself in the end. You don't need to apologise. I totally understand, and i'm sure everyone else will too.

*huggles* there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. It will all be good in the end. We'll all understand if you suddenly go somewhere.

Frosty <33

[ogrins]

oh blank. I'm so sorry for all you have to go through right now. it probably doesn't make any sense at all. i am so sorry, and i wish you the best of luck. things will clarify themselves up, don't worry. just take all the time you need. your apology is unnecessary, but accepted none the less. just... i dunno, relax? clear your head? don't worry, there isn't a rush or deadline. take your time. I'm pretty sure we all understand.

Good luck && best wishes.
ogrins

[miss. s k i p]

-Hugs Blanky- {sorry it's so long, but I felt it was necessary}

I'm so sorry Blank! Everything must seem like its piling down on top of you! Wow, I don't know how you manage all of that and still are the most amazing person I know! You got some crazy skill your hiding?? You some kinda' wizard?!?


First off, Well, you sure do a good job of keeping your cool {especially at school and stuff} If I went through that I'd probably go do something bad to myself. But don't you go and do that!! Ya' hear me missy??


Oh, and secondly, I feel like a fool, cause' I just get caught up in the moment and write you up some huge sob story about me and my miserable love life, {cough cough, Brandon, cough cough...}while you got this whole ordeal bottled up. That just shows how much stonger you are, my lil' Tuff Stuff. -playfully shoves Blank-


When I had that terrible week a while ago, {With the broken camera, vomiting, falling off, phone getting taken away...etc...} You were a 45 minute drive away. I missed you terribly. I needed your shoulder to cry on. But, unfortunately, I was in a different place then you, couldn't reach you fast enough.


However, I did have my lil' cousin Annaleigh there with me. She totally adores me, as you know, and looks up to me like I'm some kind of mystical goddess. I didn't want to cry in front of her, because, goddess's don't cry! {for heaven's sake! Everyone knows goddesses don't break down and cry!} But I held out, saved my tears for a another time. I found a reason to hang on, and be tough. To outlast whatever was determined to break me down.


I was once told that things are going to get a heck of alot worse before it gets better. It's true. Just think of it that your a spelunker exploring caves and you get lost. Your flashlight has run out of batteries, and you can't see a thing. Your thinking: How the heck am I going to get out of here? Will I make it alive? I can't see a thing. Well, keep on pushing through the darkness, and eventually, you will find the light. It's there. You just have to search for it.


Now I know that my little experience wasn't nearly as bad as yours, but I am just letting you know that just in case you get any bad ideas floating around that thoughtful, creative noggin of yours, {suicide, emo-ness, junk like that} don't do it. Take your shoe and boot em' out of there! {figuratively of course, don't actually take a shoe to your head and beat yourself with it...XD}


And the part with Annaleigh being the person that I could be strong for was to remind you that if you need it, I'm here. You can be strong for me. I know you can. {but of course if you need a good cry, my shoulder's always open.}

I can tell by the way your sister and your mom act that they both really really love you with all their might. I'm pretty sure that either of tehm would do anything in their power to make you happy. I'm so glad your sister is getting help. She is another person you need to be strong for, and your mom too.


When I was at my aunt's house, I was supposed to share a inflatable air mattress with cutie-pie, sweet as can be Annaleigh, who had begged me to share the mattress with her. I agreed. But, then, I got sick right before we had gone to bed, and threw up all over the sheets on the extra air mattress. {Thank god nobody was actually planning on going to sleep there tonight}Then sweet little angel Annaleigh went in and gathered the soiled sheets, {turkey and creamed corn bits and all} and carried them upstairs to be washed. I didn't tell her to do that. She did it on her own. When i asked her why she had done it, why she didn't let me carry up my nasty barf sheets myself, she answered, "Because your having a really rough time, and I want to help make everything better."


I cleaned up as much as I could and when I went back into the room that me and Annaleigh and my two other cousins were sharing, I saw that my uncle had located an extra sleeping bag and had layed it on the extra bed, thinking that someone was going sleeping there. The other girls were in their beds already, playing gameboys. I assumed that Annaleigh would not want me sleeping anywhere near her, just in case I was to spew anymore of my dinner during the night, so I started to climb into the extra bed.


"What are you doing?" Annaleigh asked me. "Getting in bed." I answered, a little confused. "But, I thought you promised to share the big mattress with me?" She asked. "Aren't you afraid I'll throw up on you?" I asked her back. "No." She replied. That touched my heart.


About twenty minutes after that, I got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up again, determined to make it to the toilet and not deposit my turkey on Annaleigh. I barely made it, accidently getting some all over my hair and a little on the bathroom rug. While I was hunched over the toilet, I could hear Annaleigh outside the bathroom door, asking, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" I couldn't exactly respond, but she got the picture. Instead of going back to sleep for me to deal with it, she bounded upstairs to the kitchen and came down with a glass of water with ice.


"I hate throwing up," She told me. "It leaves a bad taste in my mouth." And she handed me the water. I thanked her, and she smiled. By now my hair and arms and legs and clothes were covered in barf. She walked in, to the bathroom, careful to aviod the throw-up, and turned on the shower. "Do you think a nice warm shower would make you feel better?" She asked, and handed me a towel.


After I had a shower and was clean {finally...} I was freezing cold, and I went back into the room. My other cousins had gone to sleep, but Annaleigh was waiting for me. She asked if I was feeling better, and I said yes. I truely was. I got into bed, but couldn't seem to warm up. I was shivering like mad. I got up and changed into a long sleeve shirt and put on some clean jeans before climbing back in. My head was wet and I was still freezing, even after ten minutes. Annaleigh got up, and wordlessly unraveled her sleeping bag, and layed it on top of me. I was so thankful. And warm. She was like my little guardian angel that week. {even though shes only nine}

Blank, {aka: Bella ^^}I just want you to know that for now, I can be your guardian angel. I can be Alice, your friend, and almost sister {I am. ^^} a Charlie, {to look after you as a parent, but cooler XD}, an Renee {to gossip about boys with you XD}an Edward {not as in a boyfriend XP, but one who saves you when your number is up}, a Jasper {to make you happy, even if I have to manipulate it into you}, a Carlisle {to patch you up}, an Esme, {to love you like a mother}, a Rosalie, {to um...look pretty? rofl.}, a Renesme, {to have a close enough relationship to you that I can simply touch you and you know everything I'm thinking}


I love you Blank. Don't you ever forget that.


From Skip to Blank:

-----------------------------------------------------

b e s t . f r i e n d s

beg to know when you say forget it
wait forever when you say just a minute
stay by your side when you say leave me alone
& listen for hours when your crying on the phone
we act so crazy people think we're high
but we laugh so hard we make each other cry
I hold you tight and we talk about "remember whens"
those are the reasons we are best friends.

I love you Blank. By the way, the above poem didn't start out as my poem, but I added my own tweakings and additions to it. ^^

If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be
a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live
without you.
-- Winnie the Pooh

Best Friend, Guardian Angel
things don't always turn out how you plan
but I'll be here to hold your hand
to help you through the good and the bad
to make you happy when your sad

to wipe away your makeup smears
and stay with you to dry your tears
to talk on the phone with you forever
and talk with you about whatever

when your worlds come tumbling down
I'll be the one to stick around
to sit with you and brighten your day
I make you laugh cause' I'm crazy that way

so if you ever need a hand to hold
when you feel your misery is getting old
just take a look into the sky
im your guardian angel, always waiting in the clouds up high.
-Skip

Skip. <3333333333333333

always here

[miss. s k i p]

mushy mush mush.

I know. ^^ But I had to do it.

I just had to.

Cause', I'm just a mushy mush mush kinda' person.

XD

[Moonzzz]

Blank
I have never known you personally
and probably never will [sadly]
But if skip [who must be the best friend anyone could ever ask for in the entire earth ] isnt enough of a shoulder to cry on [doubtful] feel free to PM me any of your problems [that your comfortable telling an online friend], and i will listen :]

When it comes to family, there is nothing worse you could lose than them. They are your life line ;] BTW i count friends as family ^^

I have never seen you
I have never had a single expeirance with you
I have never sat next to you in class, passing notes
I have never even known your first name
All i know
is you have a beautiful personality, and anyone that could ever meet you, is a lucky person :] And though we only know eachother through 0's and 1's (computer xD), i know we would be awsome freinds ;D [same with you skip]

Whatever your problems, i will pray you get through them. Even though i know with your strong peronality, you could do that

<3
Moon